The Insanity I Crave
by iamkellylouise
Summary: She always thought he'd be the one night stand that stayed. But she was wrong. I was. Meredith/Addison. Addison POV. Set in 4x13. For Clai ;D


**A/N: Set in 4x13. Forget any Mer/Add/Der interaction pretty please =D**

**For **_**Clai [Ziny-DiNozzo] **_**Because she fed my craving (Yes that's where I got the title from) so I'm feeding hers! I wrote this completely spur of the moment, don't even know where it came from! Hope you enjoy it lovely, love Kelly, your dealer!**

**Reviews pretty please! Kelly. X.**

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_The Insanity I Crave_

_~x~_

We could say we're drunk but we'd be lying. Because you'd only had one shot of tequila and I barely touched my own drink. And I think it's that common thread of being a broken hearted McDreamy reject that we share that made us say hello. That made me lean into your ear, my hand on your leg and whisper, take me to bed. I don't know where it came from either. We were in a cab within the minute. And we're both surprised when we reach your house in one piece because we'd spent the journey making out and with one glance in the mirror we can see the driver staring at us with wide-eyes. We just flash him a smile as we pass over his fare and we're up in your bedroom less than a minute later.

We shouldn't be doing this. But it feels so good. Too good. I can feel your breath against my skin. It leaves a lasting tingle. Your lips are barely touching me. It's embarrassing how much I want to beg you. Beg you to move your head just that little bit lower. But I won't. I don't beg. You're enjoying this. I can see it in your eyes. They're dark. Full of something that looks like evil lust. I really want to hate you right now. But then I've really wanted to hate you since we met and I can't. Because it wasn't ever your fault. I know that. You not moving your head a little lower. That's all your fault. I'll punish you later.

I don't think of anything else when you finally touch _that_ part of my body. When you work your fingers with your tongue and I'm squirming underneath you. My hands held tightly on the cotton of your bed sheets. I swear I black out a little when you nibble your teeth against _that_ spot and your fingers press hard against the other. And I don't even spare a thought to your roommates when I let out a loud moan of your name. And you just grin up at me. That completely fucking mischievous grin you smile when you know you've won. It's not over yet, I still have a chance. And I'm about to say that but then your moving your fingers and tongue again and this time I really do black out.

As soon as my eyes flutter open my lips are on yours and I'm flipping our position so you're underneath me, my knee placed between your legs. And I'm really getting my revenge. Because you tease the devil she teases back. So I place the lightest kisses I think my lips have ever made against your neck. And I move them down to your breasts. And I tease your nipples. And every time you grind yourself against my knee I move it away from you. And you do result to begging. But I resist because, well, I am the devil after all.

But then you let out this sweet little whimper and I have to admit it did make my heart flutter a little. So my hand reaches _that_ part of _your_ body. And my fingers are inside you. And your crying out _my_ name. And any hope of keeping this a secret is pretty much gone because I swear I hear voices outside your door. And really, I don't care. And I prove that to you by adding my tongue into the mix. And I glance up at you and you're biting down on your lip so hard I'm pretty sure I'll taste blood next time I kiss you. And I push up against your spot and you cum hard against my hand. I kiss along your abdomen and up to your lips. And yes, I do taste blood. I have to admit it's fucking hot. I bring my fingers up to our lips and we both clean them off with our tongues.

We hold each other after. Something that doesn't usually come from escapades that start in bars. Not that I've ever been that type of girl but I know you were once. And you run your fingers through my hair as I run mine along the curve of your hips. I press my forehead against yours and small grins spread across our faces, and then the laughter starts. And more kisses are shared through our giggles. We fall asleep soon after still in each others arms.

When we wake up we're kissing within seconds. I know you're thinking 'Why doesn't this feel wrong?' Believe me I'm thinking it too. You ask me when I'm going back to LA. I reply tonight. I see the disappointment in your eyes. I ask you if I have a reason to stay. You stare at me for a second before placing your lips against mine. And I think that's your answer, but I ask you again just in case. And you tell me, you tell me that if you are a good enough reason, then yes, there's a reason to stay. I tell you that I'm going insane. You agree. I hit you. Then I kiss you. Then I let you know that I'm staying.

The house is empty when we finally leave the bedroom. And if we're honest we're both grateful for that. Because we know that we're going to have to explain at some point but it's nice to just enjoy each other for that little bit longer. I make a phone call to LA to tell them I'm leaving. I feel bad and I know you see that in me. You just hold my hand and rest your head against my shoulder. I call the Chief next and it doesn't even take him a second to agree to give me my job back. And then I'm hanging up and we're laughing again. We really are insane.

You take me to the airport that night and I almost miss my flight because it takes us so long to say goodbye. We're on the phone when I land. I'm back in 4 days with all of my stuff in tow and Stevens and Karev literally freeze when they see us unloading my car into the house. And we don't even notice them until we kiss and they both let out a 'Holy Shit' we just look at them and laugh. And we just carry on dragging my suitcases into your room. And when we're done we collapse on the sofa with a tub of ice-cream and you're arms are wrapped around my waist, your head on my shoulder and you look up every so often to kiss me. And then Yang is bursting through the door and I can't help but laugh at your groan.

It takes us the best part of an hour to get them to calm down. And we both know there is no real way of justifying this. Because as we've said before. This is insane. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. And they don't really have anything to say to that so we just say goodnight and make our way to bed. And we're both so exhausted that we fall asleep within minutes. My body spooning yours. You just seem to fit.

We're not going to hide it. We decided that on the phone one night when I was back in LA. What's the point in postponing the inevitable. So we walk into the hospital the following day holding hands. And we kiss each other goodbye on the walkway near the Chiefs office, and you go off to the residents lounge and I go and sign my contract. I tell Callie within the hour and she's actually laughing at me because when I said I was all for it she didn't think I meant it literally. Which I didn't then. But I certainly did that night. We pass each other in the hallway and we share a very quick kiss and thats more people to spread us across the rumor mill. And it's in the cafeteria when it really kicks off. And we're not really surprised. Because Derek stops me to say hello, and ask me what I'm doing there. And it's all calm until you walk up to me and greet me with a kiss and a 'Hey Baby' and I'm pretty certain that his jaw hits the floor. And the room is eerily silent. And he just looks between us both. And we merely smile and say goodbye and sit down at one of the empty tables.

He doesn't speak to either of us in a non-professional context after that. And if I'm honest I really don't care. And I don't think you do either. Because he moved on so why couldn't you. And again, we know we're a little insane. But that doesn't mean it's wrong. It makes things hard for you and your clinical trial but it's over within weeks anyway because you save a patient. It actually worked. And god did we celebrate. Because I couldn't have been more proud of you.

It's 6 months later when he finally gets it. And it hurts that it takes my brother showing up with my LA life in tow and worms in his brain for him to see it. And I think it's in the moment that I burst into hysterical tears when my brother refuses the surgery and you just wrap your arms around me. And he steps up. Because he always knew how to get Archer to give in. And he watches as you whisper soothing words to me, and rub my back softly, and your hands are running through my hair. And I calm down. And he gets it. He knows that this isn't some sort of joke or cry for help. We really love each other. And I can't help but hug him when the surgery's a success. And then I'm crying happy tears against your shoulder. And we buy him a drink to say thanks. And that's the start of it. The acceptance.

Mark's never had a problem with it. But then we're not really surprised at that. He often propositions us with threesomes. And then foursomes when Callie finally comes out. And god even a fivesome comes into conversation when she meets a peds surgeon. We just call him a pervert and hit him. And then it seems to die down. And we think he's finally getting the hint. Then we find out he's been seeing your sister. So then we hit him again and I can't help but be proud of you for being big sister in that moment. Even though you won't admit it.

It's not always easy. We have moments where we doubt us. Doubt each other. Doubt ourselves. But we do get through it. Every time. Because we're the happiest we've ever been. We always find the 'And how did you two meet' questions awkward and most of the time we just answer with a simple 'At work' and be done with it. We try to avoid the topic of Derek as often as we can but sometimes a 'Me and Derek used to do that/go there/like that' will drop into a conversation. But in the end, none of it matters. Because it just takes a few minutes of holding each other to make us see sense. And me? I'm the one night stand that never left. And I won't. Ever. Even if that does make me insane.

_~x~_

For it was not my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. **July Garland.**


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